the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
