i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
