He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I supernannyed him into submission
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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