I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
