Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
