You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
