i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
