This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
