I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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