its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
