ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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