my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
