What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
