I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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