I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
