I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
