i just wanna soil my oats bro
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
