i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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