You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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