come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
