No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
