is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im holly from the hills drunk
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
