how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
