i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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