Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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