sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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