my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
