I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
