i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
