Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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