It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
