its not stalking. its research.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sorry about my life...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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