i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
