If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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