how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
