he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
