Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
