I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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