I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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