Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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