The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
