I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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