I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
