i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's never too late to be topless.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
