Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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