Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
