they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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