it wasn't lemon gatorade
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
