Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
