Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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