DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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